No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think your dad took our porno
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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