one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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