i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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