So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
