My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
