Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
