I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
