ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
