good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
