Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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