We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize