Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
