so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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