remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
As shirtless as possible
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
