Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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