Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
