If that was your dad, he is hot
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Shame is for Republicans.
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