Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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