saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
