I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
