Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
