So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just gargled with NyQuil
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
