Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
