She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
