Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
be right there i have to get my cape
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
