That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize