I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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