I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
