youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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