I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
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Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
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the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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