Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
