i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This girl is more easily done than said...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
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