you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
