at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
