i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
