She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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