woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
