i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
