so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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