I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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