i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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