Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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