somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
