Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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