I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
