what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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