last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
