I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
