even my farts smell like vagina
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
