I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize