god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
