Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
