Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
