grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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