CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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