Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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