I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
